Photo taken in Lake Placid, New York.
What If…
I was listening to a lecture by Pilar Lesko, about handling things in life and “being the change you want to see,” when the prime question was posed:
What would we do (with our time, attention, energy, etc) if we knew we couldn’t change something and it was always going to be that way?
So many things used to bother me… But, what if…? Could I really be Free from all of it? Without having to change any of it?
What would I do with myself if I knew things wouldn’t change?
I realized I would feel Free.
I would Be Free.
No more force. No more frustration. No good reasons for agitation.
Let things be — and then I can Be, too.
I don’t think I came to this Veca to actively change it. Just to assist, or lend a frequency, at most. In terms of personal priorities I came to observe it, experience it, and learn from it. And ultimately the only thing I have command over is my own consciousness. So the only priority — the only thing even possible — is to capitalize upon the experiences I’ve had, maximize my integration of them into my own wholeness, and extract from them all the wisdom that’s available to my Awareness.
What else is there to do really? It’s the Fallen Ones & Evil Ones who can’t accept their fate who proceed to try to control the universe. But this will always be futile — a dead-end that is simply delayed, usually with much death and damage left in the wake.
If only they understood the wisdom that Spacedust with a smile on one’s face holds more magic than delaying death via doom.
Controlling the universe to force it to change must be so exhausting.
I’ll take the Peace of Freedom.
False Spiritual Coordinates
Although there is undeniably much darkness, pain, and horror in this Veca, I’ve noticed a trend of spiritual people getting stuck on that and dwelling on it, perhaps needlessly, especially when those circumstances are not even present in their lives.
One awareness I’ve always had is that if you’re not in the spacetime coordinates experiencing something as it’s actually and existentially occurring, then why are you there? Why be there with your Mind, your Fear, your Bother, or even your Heart? Are you actually achieving anything in those spacetime coordinates, or only undermining your own local energy and capacity to handle this realm overall? How is taking on a truckload of abstract pain and horror that overwhelms you, “spiritual”?
Outside Spirituality, the News is the primary trickster with this: showing us horrors from far away lands that we can do nothing about, except feel bad about. (By design.)
Being informed can have merit … if you can stay neutral and centered about it. But can you? Even when I’m balanced, the News has never seemed to contribute to my life but only corrode my wellbeing, quite cunningly, from underneath the surface of my awareness, before I catch onto it and halt it. So why obsessively “be informed” of things beyond my own spacetime coordinates?
The most I can do is pray for it, or donate something and hope it’s honored.
The worst it can do is leave me with inactionable despair.
If I’m really meant to know about something, I trust my HS will get it to me through some Living means — through natural mechanics and organic information; rather than through virtual, artificial, engineered narratives and platforms. And if I’m meant to go there and do something about it, I’ll feel the calling and inspiration to do so.
But all I’ve felt called toward is a Little Life. Simple joys and humble happiness, that’s all I’ve ever really wanted. The fulfillment of my own inspiration. I remember being a kid and having the insight, “If there’s nothing actually bothering me, why not just be happy!” If only I had let my own precociousness serve me.
But instead I “grew up” and let so many things bother the fuck out of me.
I feel like I’ve had to “work so hard” to get back to such an unassuming place. I took quite the detour on my Tour of Duty. I used to have big dreams but maybe they were just ego, or maybe other potentials for other times. I have had many big traumas, which did need soothing before life could smooth out for me.
But at last, I’ve reached this Holy Land. A place of no trophies or accolades — just the Freedom to Be.
Peace Where Present
"We came here to do a job by anchoring and holding a certain presence in the present, in the here and now. That is the point of power. … If we project too much consciousness into other places or spaces we can weaken our presence and reduce our effectiveness in the present. If we were meant to be in other places, why didn’t we go there directly rather than incarnating here?" – Coping by Noel Tobin
The reason I brought up spacetime coordinates is because, perhaps, I’ve been blessed. Maybe others are truly enduring dark environments, but that’s never been the case for me.
The locales I’ve ended up in or been guided to have almost always had a radiant wholesomeness which soothed me, if only I let it — a frequency higher than my own existential suffering which lifted me up and served my healing and growth (if I let it!).
From the hometown where I grew up, to the middle of Manhattan, to the Middle of Nowhere USA, I have either not encountered or not been a frequency-match to much of the darkness and despair that others either dwell on or, sadly, must endure and experience first-hand with their own consciousness. And I’ve never been guided to those places either, nor ended up in them, nor have they or their horrors ever found me.
I was born in Queens, New York, where the Twin Towers could be seen far away on a clear day. But upon their decimation, I was elsewhere, in other spacetime coordinates. I wasn’t meant to be there. Not even a family member who was due to work in the subway under the Towers that week, he was guided away too. Others have similar tales too, of being whisked away from doom by the strings of fate.
The fate of those who did have to endure that event is not something I can understand. Perhaps some Souls anticipated it and planned it into their lifetimes, but I don’t know. It seems more like preventable Evil. Evil is not inevitable or natural. It just happens in this Veca, because of those who can’t accept their own fate with a smile on their face.
So I work on my own smile. I honor my own coordinates. There has always been so much peace Where I Am, which I was so unwise for failing to tap into. I got caught up in too many virtual realities, phantom matrices, and artificial ideologies, including KS religiosity.
Why was I trying to change it — or anything — to have peace? Why was I craving peace at all? When I already & always had it right here with me, where I am?
How foolish. Running off in random directions to only end up where I never needed to leave.
Perhaps I’m just blessed that my local spacetime coordinates have offered a higher frequency than I could get in many other places. Maybe others don’t have that in life. So my spirituality is to heed what’s here and live my Little Life with what’s real.
I remember speaking with a friend, about the peace he could relax into in his own backyard where a cat would visit him. Meanwhile I peered out my window at the bands of clouds across the setting sun, at the harmony that was present no matter what was happening. This availability was something we both felt and acknowledged, better and more serene than many of the other things on offer in other realms we had gotten caught up in.
Another friend and I who explored different metaphysical arenas joked we had finally graduated out of these crazy realms of righteousness which never had enough wholesomeness. And that really is what it felt like: graduating from a Matrix School of being lectured on things we didn’t really care to learn about and which didn’t really serve us later in life. Those places didn’t serve our spirituality and wholesomeness, in the end. These realms lay claim to The Greatest Things on Earth … but then you get to the other side and the grass is not only more real, it’s greener too.
It’s an unexpected respite, to know that Life — “Real Life!” — was waiting for me this whole time. Those other realms were just pitstops upon one’s true spiritual path. Perhaps all spiritual paradigms can never be more than a pitstop along the living track of our own consciousness. Strange are the people who take up residence in those realms and never leave. Is there not more to Life for them? No greener grass than the religiosity of making it their identity? I don’t know. I’m tired of even reflecting on some of these “spiritual conundrums” — just more bothers that aren’t mine to be bothered about.
Which makes me grateful for my other friend, where things are all jokes and laughs and “spirituality” is barely on our minds, because Life is in our hearts. We’re living the spirituality. We live with the moment we’re alive in, without obsessing about mechanics, techniques, and other such things. What’s the point? Life is already working. Obsessing over it would just be homework getting in the way of our fun after school’s over.
We mustn’t let School and Religion make us forget that Fun is one of the points of Life.
In the KS Swamp, I was once accused of “not having humor.” Of course, this accusation came from a person who didn’t know I laugh a good deal with my friends, while not laughing at all with people I have to keep my guard up around. The victimhood-victimizer blaming was ironic. In the KS Swamp of fantasy and delusion, everyone is the problem except the person with the problem. The FT has a workshop on victim-victimizer and it goes over their heads. (This was one of the few workshops where I really absorbed and analyzed its lesson. It was the beginning of learning that I can be Free even from those actively trying to victimize me.)
Problems aren’t problems in a land of fantasy. No wonder I had no Fun or Freedom there. Liberating myself from a swamp masquerading as “spirituality” was very important for me.
Meanwhile, all of the experiences I’ve had in Real Life are true Freedom: cats, sunsets, green grass, good laughs.
The freedom to even have friends — versus the KS Religion where certain relationships were shunned or machinated, and you were expected to laugh even when you were pinching your nose from the stench of the energy. The freedom from self-serving gossip, judgements, and opinions which never cared about me. The freedom from virtual realms that never amounted to much accretion. The freedom from needing to force things to be better. The freedom of abiding with the coordinates my real life has legitimately blessed me with.
The freedom to actually laugh wholeheartedly and to just relax.
The freedom to Be.
Be the Freedom
Surely, those various, real-world, readily-available Freedoms are some of the most exquisite hidden treasures that The Freedom Teachings was hoping we’d discover.
Life is not about obsessing over “cosmic mechanics out there,” but about making our own little mechanics work for us down here. The mechanics, techniques, and disciplines are only useful to the point that they reorient us back into our ability to live right here right now for real. Then, like graduating from a tricycle to a bicycle, we can drop them and truly ride with the wind in our hair.
But the KS Religion that I encountered is one where you’re supposed to obsess over the various training wheels and call that Ascension.
Yeah, okay… Why do I have to do that again? When my consciousness already rode a motorbike in from another Eckasha and can clearly manage the upright position just fine, even at velocity? Let me just pick up the pieces of karma and trauma that spilled out of my basket when I stopped by and then I’ll be on my way, thanks.
I’d rather Be the Freedom that’s already innate in me than obsess over something outside of me just because rogue religious attitudes told me to. The irony is the people who are most obsessed have the least Happiness, Satisfaction, Peace, and Freedom. They don’t see how their obsession is ineffective and counterintuitive, undermining their own goals. The preachers were the literal worst role models for what they preached.
So yeah, riding on out of that Religion with the wind in my hair is one of the best things I’ll have ever done in this lifetime. And the point is, there are many others who are quite capable of riding the bikes they’re already on too. Maybe there are some things to polish, maybe some parts to screw on tighter, maybe one needs to make a U-turn and go the other way — but no one needs Religion.
Religion is the first thing to become Free from, so that we can simply Be our Selves.
Because the Freedom of Being our True Selves is what can really “change the world.” Because we’ll feel naturally called to contribute certain things, and those contributions will contain living energy, and that living energy will inspire and activate others into their own awareness, path, and contributions. And so the cycle continues and perpetuates. The cycle of Eternal Life at play. The butterfly effect, if only we’ll flap our wings and fly along.
Thusly our Living Embodiment is part of the Living World. Instead of acting forcefully and pushing against resistance and hoping for something different to turn out, our Beingness is simply Real — and that translates into Reality.
So perhaps there is nothing that needs to be changed outside oneself… We can just Be our Selves.
I can still feel my ego clinging to a craving for things to change — “but hold on, that needs to be different!” Yet even that grip is something it feels better to be Free From.
And we don’t even need to “change ourselves” either. Evolution is an inevitable byproduct of living. Part of the magic of Life is that by “just living,” Life will naturally guide us to what we need to heal, experience, and accrete.
And if KS is part of that accretion, great.
But ironically, there is sooo much more outside the study of Creation Mechanics: something called Life. Something you have the Freedom — the Right! — to live. And if you sincerely live it, and meet the encounters that line up to be experienced, and accrete the wisdom without squandering it, you might discover that you don’t need to change anything about yourself at all. Just heed things and continue heading forward.
Even inside this Matrix, Life still works.
When we are Free, then our Beingness can have an impact and change things that way — by the osmosis of holding a strong frequency around weaker energy, and by proximity with our actual coordinates which then get impacted by us. When we are sparking inside ourselves, it can reignite the flame inside someone else and get them sparking too.
I can’t change the News, nor the coordinates it reports on and frames into suspicious narratives. I can’t change virtual and phantom realms that were designed by other controllers avoiding their own Peace & Freedom. I can’t change other people who aren’t sparking right. In some ways I haven’t even been able to change myself or my own life.
But I can change my former frustration with things not being different from how I discovered them. I can change my consciousness by changing my perspective — by changing the orientation that my consciousness has inside of Creation, relative to various aspects of Creation.
And in so doing, I have discovered I am Free at last.
This Freedom I’d been chasing was not as hard as I expected it to be.
Spirituality is surprisingly simple.
What’s something outside of your control that you want to be different which you won’t ever be able to influence to change?
And what would you do with yourself, if you knew it was always going to be that way?
(And if, perchance, you do have influence or can change something for the better … why aren’t you? You might hold the key that shifts the orientation of others’ perspectives inside Creation. For me, this is writing. I can’t change all the things I pushed against, but I can write and help inspire others toward their own Freedom.)
Addendum
I feel like I’ve heard stories of prisoners-of-war and other hostages being released, but they almost can’t believe it. A part of them still feels like they’re “back there.”
My experience is not that severe, but I can’t believe my own Freedom either. I thought there was so much more to achieving this state — thought there were so many more things that needed to change before I could get to this spiritual promise land.
But nope. I’m here.
And there’s just little residues of old habitual thinking and expectations where I have to catch myself and realize, wow, I’m no longer a prisoner in the prison I had stumbled into.
I spent so long being angry and alarmed, trying to push against the walls. But the wisdom is that I was always able to walk right out of it. And now my subconscious is continuing to upgrade and course-correct with the realization that I am Free.
I feel like a cork untethered from the bottom of the ocean … a cork who untethered himself.
The experience is also similar to holding the reins of a wild, rabid horse that’s galloping you somewhere you don’t want to go — a timeline pulling you down a path of entropy you don’t want to live. You can’t control the horse anymore. But you can let go of the reins, and suddenly you’re no longer dragged along.
Then you can stand up, wipe the dirt off your pants, and sigh a breath of relief for being Free. Maybe you were dropped off somewhere you didn’t want to be, but still, you are Free from being dragged along.