2024 has been a year of enduring my most difficult challenges — physically, emotionally, and existentially.
But that has also made its growth the most rewarding, discovering shadows of myself I had lost to time, and which had long haunted me, obscuring a lost light I was meant to reclaim and shine again.
This year broke me apart so that I could become whole.
Now, having worked through so much of that, this is truly the first winter where I have known peace in my Heart, Mind, and Head. For many seasons and many years I have craved winter, because it felt like I could never surrender and release into its alluring stillness when it showed up. My inner angst, anxiety, and anger always redlined me past the landing pad.
Now, I rest still at last.
I pray others find and return to the intrinsic peace obscured in the center of their own consciousness.
It is in this stillness where I have found my healing to become whole again. And when I wasn’t whole, it was in the pursuit of this stillness in which I found any purpose for living at all. I never gave up on myself and on knowing I could be at peace.
Yet I sigh heavy with the dark wisdom that not all will choose what’s True inside themselves. Some people choose the temptations that lure them into darkness and density.
This year especially taught me that I must accept people for what they choose to be. I cannot change them, even for the better. And when they exist for the worse, at least I am Free from them.
But still, I pray.
Because I have healed so much of my own pain and issues, and it gives me hope that others can too, if only they will so choose. I know it’s possible. Some people commit to their corruption, Fallen as they are; while others heed their turbulence and turmoil as the divine the opportunity that it is to heal, thereby re-becoming Christ bit by bit, as is their divine birthright.
To “be Krystic” is one thing, but to earn it through the hard inner work of healing back to one’s original nature is awe-inspiring to me. It proves that Christ is always a Choice, and that Corruption is never inevitable. We can Fall, and pick ourselves back up again — if we so choose.
God does not control us, so being the divine nature we were intended to be is not a ‘requirement’ either. Christ is not a coercion, but a choice. And people choose it, or they don’t.
This is the essence that’s so alive during Christmas: choosing what is true even when we don’t have to. Choosing it when it’s hard. Choosing it when we fall. Choosing it when corruptions and compulsions make us not even want to. It is this choice and the people who choose which have served as a beacon for me, reminding me and inspiring me to heal myself and not settle for less.
Christmastime and the cold chills of winter anchor me into the wholeness of Christos and the stillness of Kryst. In the majesty of long nights I have found the internal True Light to be most bright and clear — reminding me of what to turn toward, what to heal, and what to leave behind.
The rest of the year simply becomes the challenge to uphold this noble commitment deep in our hearts, until the next Long Night where once again we reflect upon our Becoming, so as to release what is unbecoming of our own Divinity.
Kryst is a choice, and we are reminded to choose it, time and time again.
❄️ 🌲 🕯️ 🌲 ❄️